Online Haters

how to deal with online hate

online hate and cyber bullying experience - Charlotte Buttrick Lurchhoundloves

Online hate and cyber bullying

This morning I woke up with the urge to talk about something that struck a nerve with me last night: online hate.

It is a prevalent issue within online communities – something even the new Netflix ‘Girl Boss’ series brought to light in an episode I watched last night – but is often seen as a taboo subject to discuss.

Personally, I think it is something that should be challenged more and there should be more content out there to spark debate and raise awareness over online hate. Just as the Netflix show ’13 Reasons Why’, has sparked controversy over it’s depiction of bullying and suicide amongst teenagers. Which, unfortunately, brings light to something that we see too often in the news how young people (and all ages) are affected by hate, bullying and harassment.

My Experience With Online Hate

What sparked this impromptu blog post, is probably what you’re thinking right?

Last night after the Joshua Vs Klitscho fight and a couple of glasses of prosecco, I was responding to comments over on my YouTube channel. When a new comment popped up on this styling video I did for my Nike Cortez trainers in February last year (2016), which led me to another hateful comment I had missed:

Online Hate comments Cyber Bullying Comments

Now, little do these online haters know that they have hit me where it hurts with my own insecurities. Unless they are actually people I know masked behind an avatar and username.

For a back story (and not for sympathy), when I was at school I was teased and called a man. Something that carried through to university where childish boys would call me out for having a flat chest and again make horrible comments. Unfortunately, this is an insecurity that I cannot shake to this day and why I never feel girly, feminine or sexy.

But, when I read these comments the first thing I did was giggle and brush them off with another glass of prosecco. Then, I had a surge of anger which made me wonder where people get the bo*****s from to say these horrible things to other people and put it out there in the public domain. I am pretty sure they wouldn’t say it to my face. Well, in fact from my previous years of taunting they may do. But it led to me reporting the comments to YouTube as they just pissed me off.

how to deal with online hate - fashion blogger Charlotte Buttrick

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How To Deal With Online Hate and Cyber Bullying

I am at a point where I can just laugh horrible comments off, but words can still touch a nerve – as you can see from the result of me writing this blog post. I can still remember my first online hate comment. It was on a photo that ASOS posted of me wearing their jeans on their Facebook page. An online hate comment made me cry my eyes out and think about quitting blogging. Again, as you can guess it was a comment asking if it was a man wearing their woman’s jeans – you can see a pattern emerging here right?

I can’t help but wonder how I would handle online hate, if I had been receiving these anonymous comments whilst I was in my teens. I mean, if more than one person says it, does that mean everyone really thinks that about me? (*I know this is not true, but it is how comments like this make your brain react)

As more young people have access to the internet, smart phones and social media, it worries me about the added pressures that millennials go through today. I definitely don’t think I would be handling online hate comments the same way if I had been receiving them back in my teens.

In short, I wanted to share my experience of online hate as I think the issue should have more light shed on it. As I am sure I am not the only one who has experienced this in the blogging community. It obviously comes with putting yourself out there online, but how do you deal with cyber bullying or have you been affected by it? I would love to know your thoughts on this topic.

What Are Your Thoughts on Cyber Bullying & Online Hate?

P.S These images were originally shot to share my Givenchy Antigona handbag review, which you can view on YouTube here or watch in the embedded post below. 


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18 Comments

  1. 30/04/17 / 12:43 pm

    I will never understand why people want to say horrible things to others like that. I just don’t get it! I’m sorry to hear people have said nasty things like that. It does make me worry about blogging, that people might write mean comments. I do think that as you get older, it gets slightly easy to deal with the horrible things people say x

    LuxeStyle

    • 03/05/17 / 1:53 pm

      Yes, definitely. If I had heard that 5 or more years ago I would be in bits. But somehow nowadays I manage to brush them off, apart from getting annoyed from seeing some people be so insensitive! xx

  2. 30/04/17 / 3:46 pm

    Just know that the hateful, unnecessary comments are a representation of the haters and not you. Nobody deserves to read nasty things about themselves and we shouldn’t have to learn to be able to laugh it off (glad you can though!). You’re gorgeous and absolutely killing it atm, I’m obsessed with your style!! X

    heart-autumn.co.uk

    • 03/05/17 / 1:52 pm

      Thanks Emma, that is so nice to hear – Thank you <3 xxx

  3. Rachael Dickinson
    30/04/17 / 6:05 pm

    You are absolutely stunning, your outfit is beautiful and you look very feminine. In no way would I have associated you with being a man at all. Those people clearly have an awful life theirselves if they find it necessary to say mean things like this!

    Rachael xox
    http://gatsbyandglamour.blogspot.com

  4. 30/04/17 / 7:17 pm

    Firstly, these pictures are beautiful and this is one of my fave outfits of yours! Secondly, eff those haters. Sadly, I think online hate is a sign of popularity – so you’re actually doing well and when people are doing well, someone will want to drag them down. As Dita once said, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches”. I’m really glad 13 Reasons Why was turned into a Netflix series and has hopefully helped to raise awareness of such an important issue. I agree I don’t think trolls would say such mean things if they were sitting infront of you… I’m also thankful social media didn’t exist when I was a kid. *SIGH*. Anyway, you’re kicking ass so just keep on doing what you’re doing! T x

    • 03/05/17 / 1:51 pm

      Thanks for the love lady – always so kind to me 🙂 xxx

  5. 30/04/17 / 8:44 pm

    An incredibly important post, thank you for sharing! I’ve been lucky to not have experienced too much online hate but interestingly and similarly to you, the comments I did have weren’t actually addressed to me directly. They were “she has…” or “she is…” type comments, as though I’m not actually a person with thoughts and feelings who might be upset about the things that are said. It doesn’t help and doesn’t justify their actions, but this fact made it slightly easier to swallow as it felt less “personal”, if that makes sense? Regardless, I definitely think people should live by the rule that if they wouldn’t say it in real life they shouldn’t say it online.

    We need more kindness!

    Lorna, literally.

    • 03/05/17 / 1:51 pm

      Thanks Lorna, yes I am the same. I wouldn’t dare type something that 1 would intentionally hurt someones feelings or 2 I wouldn’t say to their face xx

  6. 30/04/17 / 9:48 pm

    I hope YouTube acted on you reporting those comments as there are so many offensive comments online these days and it’s just not right. I think there definitely should be more punishment for hate on the Internet! Sorry that you have to deal with this but keep on doing your good work! Steph xxx
    http://www.stephstyle.com

    • 03/05/17 / 1:51 pm

      Thanks Steph 🙂 I haven’t checked back yet so I need to xx

  7. 01/05/17 / 5:24 am

    I’m so sorry you have had to cope bullying when you were younger and now this from low lives. You’re so beautiful and people are assholes. I wish there was more ways to monitor comments online so it didn’t have to affect people/reach people at all 🙁

    Sarah | More Than Adored

    • 03/05/17 / 1:49 pm

      Thanks Sarah! Why do some people waste their energy right? xx

  8. Holly White
    04/05/17 / 10:05 am

    I’m so sorry you had and have to deal with this, Charlotte. Bullies are the worst kind of people. Please always know how lovely and beautiful you are!

    This post is so important – thank you for writing it! xxx

  9. 14/05/17 / 3:59 pm

    I’m so sorry you have to deal with comments like these and it is such a common thing these days. I’m a plus size fashion and lingerie blogger and swing from getting comments like these straight through to outright fetishisation. I don’t know which is worth but both attempt to dehumanise and degrade me. It’s such a sad state of affairs.

    I deal with it very much like you, poor another glass of prosecco, report and block the b*****ds. Sadly, it gets to me occasionally but I think its important to remember that you’re a strong, beautiful and multifaceted woman who is powerful for putting herself out there whilst they hide behind faceless avatars to get their kicks!

    C x
    CurvyGirlThin.com

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